Saturday, 2 January 2016
20:49
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how long more I could last. It's rather a bad start of the year, starting with project stress, friends issues and then post-relationships troubled. I just dontknow when will the tears stop, or do they know how to stop. I'm feeling so hurtful, like a wound had inflicted on me. I guess this wound is going to get bigger and deeper..
People who say they will ever leave no matter what; I'm not believing all this. Well cause, end up.. people always leave me hanging. They simply walk away and decides not to come back. So what's the point of saying those words when you know you're gonna leave at the end. That's an example of a broken promise. So people, don't promise me anything if you're not gonna do it. You don't say all this, keep the person happy and at the end; you know the person that's suffering is not you but the other party. It's really awful and depressing.
I really liked him a lot. Although it's been awhile for the both of us, I went through hell during my internship phase and using every single day, packed with all the nonsense so that I wouldn't have time to think about him. And as time past, I realize I couldn't. He's not someone that I could forget easily. Time have done so much for me, I thought I could be strong and survive this ordeal but I guess not. All the things we've done together, things between us was really short but it was the best time I've ever had in my life. You ought to know something, I really love you lots and I will never forget you. We didn't had a clean break, and neither of us knows the reason of why we broke up. That's how got me into deep suffocation now. Because of you, I'm starting to go through depression and it's only day 2 since we last talked. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say anymore.." Me too, I'm sorry if I keep disturbing you all along. Maybe we shouldn't have started all these, maybe I shouldn't have met you, maybe I shouldn't have talked to you. It's all my bad, I'm regretting them so much. All these unhappiness would not have happen. But God let them. I have faith in God, it's his doing that brought us to each other, and well, I've disappointed God. I'm sorry, God. I couldn't continue us just how you have wanted us to. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. I'm glad that I've met him in my life. But right now, he's just a total stranger to me. I dontknow him anymore, I can't know him anymore. I hope you could grant me the power, that is if I happened to walk past him by accident, give me the power to hold back my tears, and I really need your help. Thank you God.
One last thing.
Dear Nat, I would hope to see you be happy as always, and if you're sad.. I would love to give all my laughters and smiles and everything you need for you to be happy. It's okay if I couldn't have you back, it's okay if we are gonna be strangers, it's okay if we can't go through things together. I just want to let you know I really love you so damn much and I'll never forget the things we have had between us. Our memories, I'll save guard them in my heart and I hope you do too. Please don't ever forget about me, I would be so sad. & I'm being random.
