You say I'm irresponsible and you walked away like that. Oh well, I guess you're not understanding enough and probably not fit to be my boyfriend. I think I'm wrong about you. You say I was lame for doing this, but did you know the reason behind it? You dontknow how much I've suffer and you think I like doing this? No, I don't at all.
Home is a place where one should be able to look forward each day, feeling the family warmth, feeling comfortable and the love. But me, ever since all these things happen, I don't anymore and not proud to call that my home. I don't belong here, and by right I should have died long ago. I felt like a coward, I honestly do not dare to die, but if I did I would wish to die peacefully.
All in mind when I was on the way home, I'm filled with terror, you know that feeling of going into somewhere unfamiliar and all the faces you haven't seen. that's scary. I thought my dad would hit me or scold me, but he didn't. Well, indeed a surprise. I head straight into the room and went for a bath. And in the shower, tears started flowing. Not because of going "home", but because of that someone who made me feel insecure.
I remembered how I did "so much" for him but yet he treated me this way today. They say people change, not surprise either. Yeah, whatever you say. Childish, lame, irresponsible. I'm not explaining things anymore. I will quietly do my own stuff, shut my fucking mouth and let the world do it's things. Let the blame be on me, I'll be the one that start the war.
I've learnt a "lesson" today, disappointments. And how much of insecurities I'm having. You don't support my ways, don't try to listen to me, I tried to talked to you. What I get was a "scolding". I guess I've nothing to say to you anymore, I hate you now for not understanding me enough. But guess what, I don't need you to understand me anymore. Go ahead and be what you think is rightfully. I guess.. I'm not the one for you.
