Hi I'm Dena the Insanicz hehe.
I'm a retarddddd. You know?
MUSIC
COMING SOON
Monday, 7 April 2014
01:32
Countless things to say right now, but I don't know where to begin with. Let's just say I have a tough night today. Just wanted some alone time these days. It all begin with this thought that came into my mind past few days, and how should I say it.. Something's wrong, or was it just me? It struck me real hard that day, luckily I was too tired that I fell asleep. A somehow similar problem that happen previously, that sucks. Not gonna say the actual problem, read me if you can. Anyways, today was a great catchup day with my awesome bruhs and sis. Oh and yeah, sorry for a real long belated birthday celebration for my budz, david. All the best for your Alevel this year! Remember during our drinking session, and it was jolene's turn to talk about how have she been. "Single is the best...total freedom" I totally agreed with that, and maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be this annoyed with myself. Sort of dreading to live more and more each day, to face people, to fake emotions, wasn't as simple as abc. Try putting a smile, after a long day filled with tiredness, sadness, and a dead mind. It isn't easy at all. And not to say I won't tell you things. I would rather be alone, not to having another soul. It's okay if I'm screwed with my own life, just didn't want people to screw with me. There's just a lot of thoughts, overwhelming in my head, my mind, my body, everywhere inside of me. I'm tired of living. A tear down my cheeks proved it all. I don't want anybody, I'm selfish, whatever you say. Times like this, if I say I really want to be alone, I'm lying. The fact that everyone needs a somebody to be with them when they are down, to give them a hug and tell them everything's gonna be alright. Just an unpleasant night for me to spend overthinking about stupid stuffs. I don't want to tell people and say "oh, I'm just thinking about this.." and they be like "dont think lor" Just look, will this even help? Not like instantly, you won't think anymore. Don't be a retard, that's not gonna help, even a tiny bit. Saying them out, letting people know, in return you get those three words, no use isn't it? Why not I just keep my mouth shut, screw myself and just live another day. At least for me, I rarely have that same thought the next day, unless it really hurts me deep. Coming to think more, I realized of more reasons on why I should just be single. I'm a horrible person, I freaking know that. Everyone should really stay far far away from me, including you. My fault that I appear in this world, maybe I should just disappear some day, to another planet, or hell. In life, I only ask to be happy, was that even hard to fulfill? And so, the story of today ended with a headache. Will this be a sleepless night? #qotd I'm never okay, it's like living a nightmare everyday.
