Thursday, 23 January 2014
23:56
so much for an unfavorable desire. what am I thinking. what is my head going through. I get that. In fact no one actually likes the thought of suicidal. no one wants to die at all. it's just that they hated the pain they're going through, so they put an end to their life. Everyone is given a chance to live a life. Wouldn't you be silly, if you simply ended of in a miserable way. How much of this could you endure, ask yourself this question.
Why am I feeling this way today. I thought everything would went well, but I guess not. it's just plainly moodless me. I'm sorry, for hurting those around me with my words, sorry especially to you, if I were so dao to you. I didn't mean it. Sometimes I just want to be alone and not bothered by anything. Havering so much trouble due to the workload increasing each day. Submissions coming. Exams are coming. Everything's rushing. how about me dying in the end. Let's go wild. Everything is shit, totally piece of shits.
Enter my life, and you will get what I meant by shits. I really hate it. The worst is feeling such a much of a burden to everyone, my friends, family and even to myself. Why am I such a loser, plain sore loser. I can't seem to do anything wrong. Running into the pole at times, losing my sense of direction, walking through the roads, with cars honking at me. "Get lost you little rascal"
I wished I could run somewhere no one would ever find me. Live by misery, soullessly, dying without any burial. I have no life. I'm a no lifer. Can I be as good as dead? Deaths everyday, I really wouldn't mind to exchange my life with them. No one appreciated me anyway, I'm just slowly drifting away from society. What more could I ever do.
not ready for anything now. I wanna live not just survive. Fighting this war is hard, it's tough, I went through with cuts and bruises, blinded by scars you can't see, shattered with a begone broken heart. nothing can be fixed. if you could I pray for one thing, don't follow my footsteps. I wish everyone will be happier than me. it kills me when I see anonymous getting depressed over little things. maybe you haven't gone through what I called the war zone.
drowning in sadness filled with anxiety and pieces of unwanted depressions. souls splitted, each hiding in a corner waiting to be called upon. fade into darkness, it's been let go and never getting back. detest souls, you're abandoned. no more feelings, they have died.
“Life means suffering; the cessation of suffering is attainable. Eventually you will find your own happiness and peace, it just has to be on your own terms."
live while you can. love those around you. be happy and smile more. life will get better each day I hope
worst day ever I suppose.. & I'm being random.
