Thursday, 12 December 2013
00:45
Why am I the cause of all my problems? Ain't I supposedly to be happy, can't seem to be that way. Sometimes, I really hate myself for many things that I do, and then regret afterwards. I need a wake up call from reality, where can I get it? If only I could escape from all this shits I've gotten myself into. I cried, today, again when I made a promise to myself a few days back, no more tears, no more sorrows. Perhaps I'm just deceiving myself. It'a a brand new lie. Troubles, troubles, everywhere. Is there anyone out there without problems? I need some tips.
Someone whom I could confront to, rely on, spoke to, joke with, play with and mostly vent all my frustrations on. My only true friend on his planet - my teddy. You can try asking him, he won't talk, not yet a single thing. And that's what I liked about him. He is my major source for containing all my darkest secrets, my shredded tears, my vents, and he gave me hugs. I cannot live without him, a true soul, my best friend.
The next time, I shall just keep my mouth shut. No one is gonna ever know what I feel anymore, my voice lives in hell. It's never coming back, goodbye. I'm done trying to do what I can, is wanting to be happy as hard as defeating yourself? I'm lost in depression, and no I'm not depressed. I lost the war, the fight was great, my bones left lying, soul's scattered around. Or should I say I'm as good as dead. But I've brought back pride, it feels like I won after all. There's no more turning back, the past is over, get over it. No, I'm not okay, but I'll get better. I just manage to piece out myself, fixing all those broken ones, anymore ordeals? Watch me fall more.
I wanna run away, gone.& I'm being random.
