A Simple Life, Smile

Monday, 25 November 2013

01:42

I'm already screwed. You won't see this anyway.

I'm just waiting for that day, when I realize I couldn't handle it anymore. I might let go, no matter how hard is it, I will. Having it recurring on my mind each day, the thought that I don't even want to have. I don't bear to break it to you, suck thumb. Swallowing all these every night, with mental breakdowns. I don't even know how we get together, it feels like a damn joke. At the start, I remembered how I have not a slight feelings for you, but as time gradually past, that's when it all started. I felt I was really lucky to have you. But guess what? I realize something. I am just plain dumb. You didn't said anything before we even got together, we just got. Maybe I was simple, foolish enough to fell beyond things. I don't understand..

I recalled how happy I was when we were not together yet. Shall just voice out all my unhappiness here.

I dontknow why but I just got that feeling of being your "replacement" , am I? Like when you need me I've to be there, is it that way? I'm that type of bros before hoes, so I won't leave my friend in a lurch. You don't treat me right, you don't even bother or care about me. I feel nothing to you. You know, each time I'm out with you, I can't help but feeling upset inside. It's just that feeling. It's okay if you don't understand, or maybe it's just me. I'm lost. I really wonder if you really like me. I don't think you do, you're lying are you? I understand if you're busy everyday, but can't you spare some thoughts for me, like talking to me and stuff..? I feel like an invisible soul to you. Sometimes, you even "scold" me when I'm late or what, I tried to rush and had to apologize repeatedly. I really cannot understand you. I give in every single time. You surely dontknow how unhappy I am.

All I can say now is, I'm falling for you, each day. I want you to know that you're important to me. didn't expect everything to turn out this way. Remember that day wh en I asked you, what if one day we break up, will we still remain as friends? You said you will be sad. It's okay wasn't expecting any reply from you anyway. There was one day, I really wanted to send you text how I don't understand you and maybe we should have a cool down period. But I realized I really really like you, so I didn't press that send button. On my mind was " maybe we need more time " So after all, I realized It's just me giving more excuses that's all.

Let's see where time leads us to. Is either we break or we go on.

-no more

& I'm being random.