Feel my life is being kind of stupid, always doing things that make me regretful..
everything was just a coverup. I'm hiding my emotions.
is being positive that hard?
a question to ask myself.
why must humans have feelings? I don't understand. I hate my life, I wish I wouldn't knew certain people, I wish I don't exist in their life :/ making both of our lives difficult
I hate to see people being unhappy, the feeling really suck. I wouldn't mind if I were to take away their sadness and replace it with mine, I want people to be happy, cause that feeling is so much better.
Sigh, what is life?
A tough question, do you know the answer?
Me: I just want it simple.
Scars, I mean what I say this time round. I must keep to my promises, no more empty ones. Having said enough "tired" , and being said once again, I'm tired. This reality kills and strike me real hard, that overwhelming pain, no one will ever understand. And I'm tearing now as I type this out. All the emotions came plunging out like a waterfall. What to do? Could there be anyone to save me from this anxiety? I want my childhood back, can I go back to 2001? When I'm still an innocent five year old..
and I'm bleeding out, I'm bleeding out for you. I'm done. Done trying real hard, I'm convinced, convinced that nothing will ever happen. It will never. Ij my life, there will never be those two words, "what if" cause it has disappear into thin air. Hopes are gone, I've nothing now, only one pathetic lifeless soul. it's okay, I will continue to life down the streets, to survive in this monster society. When the sun gone down, and the moon raise up, and I'm still hanging on.
Considered myself lucky compared to others in poor countries. They have no water, no food, and deaths counting and counting each day. I should be contented with life, but why am I unhappy? I don't understand.
I really hope someday I will lose my memory, those memory that gave me the most heartbreaks, the amount of tears, life will be good, so much better.
To be honest, I'm not afraid of deaths. What goes around, comes around. If its meant to be, it will be. Recalling those silliest moments, what did I even do that in the first place? I don't get it, wishing for something yet it sounded stupid. Let me tell you one example, once I was walking home, and I look up the sky, and talk to the moon, "let me have ... please!" I think only a retard like me will do this kind of things.
Those times when I have a hard time trying to sleep. Listening to those emo songs, and cried myself to sleep.
"Just because we don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you. I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you."
I know I can never have you, so I hope you find someone better than me.
